How to dodge the paps – the James Diamond way!
by Rena.Robacki
Summary: The title really says it all. It's a silly little one shot I needed to share because it has been bugging me all day long. Taylor - OC. Review, maybe?


**I do not know what this is. It just popped into my mind and I needed to share it. Hope you guys like. I'd really appreciate your feedback.**

- Taylor! T! James squealed happily hugging his best girl friend in the world right after opening his front door.

- Jamie… The brunette stepped back a little, her green eyes growing a little at the sight of James' enthusiasm. They'd seen one another just a few days ago; there was no reason for him to act like that. Or none that Taylor knew of.

- I neeeeeeeed your help! James said taking both of Taylor's hands in his.

- Emm… oh-kay… could I just come in first? Taylor chuckled.

- Oh, yeahyeahyeahyeah sure – sorry! James blabbered stepping aside, allowing the tiny woman to step inside of his brand new house before closing the front door with a loud thud, as if he was annoyed at someone or something. Taylor didn't expect the sharp sound and jumped a little, slowly turning to make a face at James.

- What was that for?

- The DANG paparazzi! James had an outburst, hands running through his thick hair as he headed for the kitchen. – So – coffee? James offered, obviously controlling his anger.

- Yeah. Sure. What's that about the…?

- They're relentless! James began before Taylor even finished her question. – Just yesterday I saw a picture of myself coming out of the God DAMN BATHROOM! Thankfully I had a towel on! I mean I can't even relax INSIDE of my own home! Now I have all the blinds down, living like a dang vampire!

- Did you…?

- Call the police?! Hell YES! Called my lawyers too – they're now looking into suing the owners of the originating site and the actual dirtbag that invaded my privacy. James sighed, his anger vanishing with the knowledge that Taylor understood him.

Taylor went next to James and placed a hand on his arm.

- Dude, it's the price of fame. Don't let it get to you.

- I can't, T. I can't. I need a private life, away from the eyes of my fans. I need to find someone to love and start a family. I'm gonna be 30 soon… James said quietly, his head hanging down.

- I know, J, I know.

James sighed deeply, trying to shrug his bad mood off.

- Just, let's change the subject. Tell me how's Dak doing?

Taylor's expression changed, her lips turning up into a bright smile, her eyes gaining a certain sparkle just at the mention of her long time boyfriend.

- Dak's ok. Busy, as always. Oh, Jamie, you should only see how happy he is directing. He's so good at it too. He never ceases to amaze me. Every day. He's…

- You're so in love, it's disgusting! James chuckled.

- Did I ever thank you? For introducing us? Taylor rested her forehead on the back of James shoulder as he poured a couple of cups of coffee.

- Only like five billion times.

- Well then – here's five billion and one! Thank you!

- You're welcome, T. James said, placing an arm around Taylor's shoulders as they both made their way to the living room, coffee cups in hand, smiles on their faces.

- So… you need help…

- Y-y-yeah…. James stuttered a little. He hadn't told anyone his little secret. He knew he could trust Taylor with his life but he was still scared of what she might think.

- Jamie, you can tell me anything, you know that.

- I…. kinda… well… found a way to bypass the stupid paparazzi. James said with a sigh. He started now. There was no more turning back. Taylor would get it out of him anyway.

- Dude! That's awesome! She exploded, turning her body to face him better, folding a leg under her. James hung his head, looking down at the coffee mug in his lap. It suddenly became very interesting.

- Yeah… it is… I just need to… well… disguise myself.

- That's… new… Taylor began beaming. Disguises were such a James thing to do. She wasn't surprised. Not at all. Not even a little.

- Don't mock me, T. This is hard enough already. James scolded, his voice stern, his eyes burning green.

- And you need my help for…?

- I need to go shopping… You're a C cup, right?

- DUDE! Taylor squealed.

- No! No! No! I didn't mean to… Oh, my God, that came out SO wrong!

Taylor saw James begin to rant and giggled at the mess in front of her.

- Yes, James, I'm a C cup. She informed him with a motherly, slightly amused voice. – Why do you ask?

- Well… you see… emmm… remember Lucy, from way back in the day…? Taylor nodded. – She used to have a douche bag of a boyfriend. And Kendall had me and Jett set a trap for him…

- Dressing up as… Taylor finally got it. – You're dressing up as a girl! Taylor squealed.

- Yeah… well IT WORKS! James defended himself. – Do you know how long it's been since I actually went into a crappy Starbucks and sat down to drink a stupid cup of coffee in peace and quiet? Without flashes going off or fangirls fangirling over my every move? James' voice was getting higher and higher with every word he said until it was as high as a "singing" crystal.

Taylor giggled. James' tendency of over-reacting to everything never failed to make her smile. To her, that was part of James' charm.

- Dude! Chillax! Really! It's ok. I get it. It's… extreme… but we are talking about you, soooo…

- What does THAT mean? James' eyebrow went up.

- Just that you're special.

- Taylor… James growled trying to sound threatening and failing miserably.

- You're a diva, James. And you know it. And I love you just the way you are. Taylor winked.

James squealed pretending to be offended only to have Taylor tickle him.

- That's not fair! I can't pay you back! James laughed when he finally managed to grab Taylor's little, slippery wrists. – You're not ticklish!

- I am – it just has to be the right person. James stuck his tongue out at her.

- So, you gonna help me or… ? James asked letting go of his best friend's arms.

- You don't even have to ask. Of course I'll help. Wiiiith…?

- I told you – shopping. I'm tired of my… emmm… options. I need more.

- You have… options? Taylor's eyes began to sparkle.

- Well, dooh! Weren't you the one who said I'm a diva? Diva needs options! James stated, putting his hands up, making a cute face.

- Show me! Taylor bounced up and down on the couch, clapping her hands together like a child would.

- Sure – come on. James got up and lead Taylor to the guest bedroom where he opened the little closet to reveal a few dresses, a couple of woman's jeans, a few blouses, a pair of boots, three pairs of flat shoes and five different colored bags.

- Oh, my! Taylor quipped at a bag. Green suede with buckles and pockets. Taylor had fallen in love.

- You can borrow it if you want… James said shyly.

- Dude! It's gorgeous! Where on Earth…?

- Germany… Last year.

Taylor momentarily forgot about the beautiful piece of workmanship in her hands and stared at James.

- A year… you've been…

- Yeah… But I don't go out THAT often. Like once a month or so… James replied to Taylor unasked question. Taylor nodded.

- So – show me…

- This is it.

- Dude – Fashion show… me. Taylor demanded. James was surprised but soon found himself smiling. Modeling clothes was one of his favorite things to do. He'd never modeled woman's clothes though. He was excited. A lot. When his smile began to hurt his cheeks a little he nodded slowly. He took a tiny step forward, opened a little drawer that Taylor had missed due to her eyes being drawn to the gorgeous bag she would definitely have a hard time letting go of. James took out a black bra and Taylor raised an eyebrow.

- C cup? She asked.

- Yup! James replied, his voice a dead giveaway of the joy that was running through him at that same exact moment. He picked his favorite black dress and a pair of red flats. He then turned on his heels moving to a chest of drawers in the room, opening a drawer, taking out a gorgeous red belt. He opened the bottom drawer, thought a little, then plucked out a red wig, medium length with light curls.

Taylor's face fell watching James walk in the bathroom to get changed. She shook her head and sat down on the bed, still clutching the gorgeous bag. She dared to open it and see the inside. Three separate compartments. A place for the phone, another for the wallet. Taylor literally drooled.

- Told you, you can borrow it anytime. She heard James say. His voice a little higher than usual. Taylor slowly lifted her eyes. Red flats, black leggings, black dress with a red belt that was placed just right to make James' lean masculine figure look almost feminine. Her face fell seeing James' re-modeled chest. If she wouldn't have known better she would have sworn he was a woman!

- James! Oh my!

- Really? He quipped.

- You're gorgeous even as a woman! Taylor said honestly and James blushed at her compliment.

- "Even"… wow! You don't usually pay me compliments… James shifted nervously from one foot to the other, his red curls swaying a little over his fake boobs.

- If I would you'd have such a huge head!

- Yeah… that's actually true. And just like that James – the James Taylor knew, cocky, sassy James, was back, his smile almost blinding Taylor.

- So…model for me Jamie!

James giggled a little, took a shy step forward and did a tiny pirouette, his dress puffing a little around his knees. He took a few more steps, did a little pose in front of Taylor and walked to the closet to pick out another outfit.

- Try on some pants. I wanna see you hide… junior in those! Taylor giggled loudly.

- Just for that, I'm taking your beloved bag away! James said with a huge smile, choosing a pair of dark jeans, a green flowy top, his black flats and his green purse out of Taylor's greedy little hands. He walked back to the drawer to pick out another wig. A blonde one. Shorter than the red one, straight hair.

Taylor sighed at the loss of the green bag but sat back down on the bed while James went to change again. She waited patiently for the show to go on. She wasn't disappointed either. James was beaming when he came back. He looked too good for words. The pants were hugging his legs just right to hide the bulk of his manly muscle tone, the blouse resting just right on his hips to give the impression of a woman's shape. And how was it even possible that he could look so good with blonde hair? Taylor stared at him, her mouth a little open.

- Really? James asked, having the audacity to blush and look totally girly doing so.

- Dude! I know women who'd kill to look as wow as you do. James blushed and began walking again, doing the same little pirouette, showing Taylor his talents at hiding "junior" in the process. Taylor was speechless as James strutted to the closet again.

- One more?

- Dooh!

James just clapped, picking his next outfit. Another dress. Blue. Bright blue. He picked up his boots, giggling like a child. He picked out a teal sweater and a tiny black purse with a gleam in his eyes. He moved to the drawers with a spring in his step.

- Brunette! This goes best with dark hair. He mumbled to himself and picked out another mid length wig, chocolate brown and curly. As he walked out he gave Taylor the green bag back with a tiny, girly laugh.

Taylor had lost her words. She watched this new side of her best friend in awe. She patiently waited for James again, ordering herself to let the gorgeous bag rest on the bed next to her.

James came back looking dashing, more so than ever. He was now feeling confident around Taylor, in his girl clothes and it showed in his every movement. Even on heels!

- James – you're annoying! Taylor blurted out.

- Why!? James stopped mid pirouette, face falling in surprise. Fear gripped his heart as he turned to Taylor.

- You can NOT be this good looking. I mean – you just can't!

James heart began to sore with happiness. He simply hugged Taylor tight.

- Dude! AIR! I need air! Taylor gasped.

- You're such a good friend, T. Thank you. James sighed, letting go of Taylor to look her in the eyes.

- I know, J. I know. Taylor fake-sighed earning her a light bump in the shoulder as James giggled and straightened up.

- So – shopping?

- Hell, yeah! But… what do you need me for?

- I have all of these from Europe and Asia, where I could go shopping a little more easily. Here I just can't go in a shop and buy what I want… And I don't want to buy something that won't fit properly on my… emmm… boobs. James chuckled.

- So I go and try on stuff…

- Yeah, cause I can't buy stuff with cleavage. And…

- I'm the same size as your…bra! Taylor laughed. James nodded. Both friends smiled and James went to change back into his normal clothes. He felt a bit sad. He really did like to play dress-up. Having someone watch him, especially since it was someone who he trusted, made it a thousand times more fun. He quickly changed back to his jeans and tank top, taking his "fashion show" clothes back to the closet. Taylor had gone to the living room. He gingerly put his girl clothing back in its place and went to find his best friend.

- T – where you at? He called out when he didn't find her in the living room.

- Raiding your fridge! Girl needs her strength if she's going shopping with you.

James giggled. They both had a nice light lunch before heading out to where James had seen a few items of interest. He had Taylor try on what felt like a couple dozen BILLION blouses and dresses before he settled on two. Yeah. TWO! A lovely yellow one with little black polka dots and a red one with white margins – a little too Christmas-y for Taylor's taste, but James loved it. Especially since it had a really high neck line with the cutest of collars.

The sales woman was puzzled as to why James asked for the dresses a few numbers too big for Taylor, but she served them irreproachably. James grabbed the bags like they were precious cargo and made Taylor drive back to his place.

- This yellow one will look amazing with blonde hair. And the red one can go with my brunette wig. James squealed as soon as they were inside his home. He was almost skipping down the hall as he went straight into the bathroom to change and try on his new clothing.

Taylor chuckled and settled on the guest room bed once more to wait for James. Her feet were killing her so she began to rub them while waiting.

James stormed in – a blur of yellow bouncing up and down all over the bedroom, giggling and twirling.

- Don't you just love it? He asked happily.

- If you stop for five seconds for me to actually see it… Taylor chuckled at James' silliness. James did what he was told. He just had his dress and his blonde wig on. That and a look of happiness. He looked radiant, the yellow of the dress contrasting with his sun kissed skin.

- Well?

- Yeah. I love it. Now show me the other one.

- Ohohohoh! James bounced out of the room. Taylor giggled, shaking her head, leaning back on the pillows, still rubbing her poor aching feet.

When James came back she was almost asleep. But the red blur chased her sleep away. James finally realized he was acting up again and stopped for Taylor to give her opinion.

- It's cute. You were right. The collar looks nice. But I still say the yellow one is better.

- Meeeeh! James stuck his tongue out and ran to the bathroom to change out of his new dress and into his normal clothing. It didn't take long for him to get back.

He put the new dresses away and his wigs back before he turned to see Taylor passed out on the bed. He smiled and draped a warm plaid over her tiny, helpful form before walking out of the room to let his BFF nap for a while.


End file.
